A lot has changed for me over the past couple of weeks.  Some personal realizations have given me a new sense of freedom, contentment (even if fleeting), and the beginnings of, dare I say it, confidence.  I just hope I can continue to hold onto these good feelings.

This week I start my art therapy internship, something I have been working towards in one way or another for almost 5 years, ever since I discovered art therapy as a profession.  Because I chose this path I cannot help but be excited by it even if I am more than a little nervous about it.  Even though I am nervous about my abilities I’m excited to interact with people in a helping capacity and I am excited about working with people through art.  Sometimes my excitement leads me to wonder whether I am one of those people who believe humans are inherently good.  I’m pretty sure, at least, I am not one of those who believe we are inherently evil.

Through my experiences in my art therapy program, friends I have made moving here, in the program and at the gym, and most especially with my wonderful therapist, I think I know what it is like for one soul to meet another soul and for both to be changed or moved for the better by the encounter.  That, overall, is what I hope to achieve no matter where I go in life.

Who me?

At the end of the month I will be starting my internship at a nursing/ care home. I am nervous. Ideally I have this imagining of how it used to be with my grandmother’s friends when I was younger. I used to spend a fair amount of time with them, especially during the summer. There were particular friends of my grandmother’s that I especially looked forward to seeing. My grandmother was into crafts and painting and crocheting and all sorts of artsy things. Frequently the church had programs where my grandmother and these women would get together, create, and socialize. But interacting with your elders is a lot different when you are 9 than when you are 30. Then again maybe the same kind of…interacting is needed. But now I will be in a indirect authority role as I have knowledge and a purpose that will be in service to my “clients.” Assuming a role of “authority” or even more accurately, assuming the role of a facilitator, is one that is foreign to me. It is a role in which I will have to become more comfortable and until then I will be nervous, anxious, and awkward. Not that I can let my “clients” know this.