I feel as though sometimes I come off as a complainer. When I talk about feelings of being “less than” it comes from a place of being fearful that I don’t know enough, I don’t know the right things to say or do to help my clients. That I am not worthy enough to help them. I am unbelievably humbled by them every day, and grateful. I am grateful for the chance to learn about the complexities of the human condition. I am humbled to even presume to be a part of their journey. It gets frustrating when
you I want to help them so badly but I simply cannot travel their journey for them. Then I think it sounds insufferably arrogant to talk about journeys when they are in the middle of the muck of drug addiction, self-harm, emotional disregulation, schizophrenia, BPD…
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
“The worst thing is watching someone drown and not being able to convince them that they can save themselves by standing up.” Anon
It comes down to not knowing enough, not understanding enough, and not having lived the experiences they have. And yet…I kind of see us like…
“This guy is walking down the street and he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he cannot get out.
A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, ‘Hey you. Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription and throws it down the hole and moves on.
Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, ‘Father I’m don in this hole. Can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down the hole, and moves on.
Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me, can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, ‘Are you stupid? Now we are both down here.’ The friend says, “Yeah but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.”– The West Wing, I remember when I was still in school someone gave a presentation on hospice care and how to work with families in the middle of the grieving process. The woman made reference to “mud sitting,” sitting in the mud with a client. Sometimes the company of another person while sitting in the mud is what is needed to transform the suffering. Or as Thich Nhat Hanh says, “No mud, no lotus.”
This post has been kind of unfocused. Long story, short: Knowing how to mud sit while knowing the way out. Be humble because, there but for the grace of God go we.