Do I have the STUFF?

As the semester is more than half over I am considering what I have to do on a practical level to get ready to go back into Internship.  That alone is daunting but I am also considering what has or has not changed since the abrupt end of my first Internship.  I like to think I am in a better place with more perspective but really, if I were put back into the same situation I left would anything have really changed?  I am not as sure.  I still have this deep seated fear but again, I like to think it does not cloud my “vision” as much as it used to.  And so I question, do I have the STUFF to become a counselor?  Or am I one of those students mentioned in the article I linked to, who gravitated to the counseling profession/ program for personal help?…I can’t say for sure.  Except I can’t shake or deny the interest and enthusiasm I had when I first encountered the description of my art therapy program, roughly four years ago now.  I was intrigued and had a real belief that this future goal was within my reach and within my abilities.  I was so excited to finally have a goal and a direction and a motivating inner force.  The thought that I can do this was like… it was indescribable.  Having a direction of my own was completely different than just doing things because it was expected of me.  For the first time, this was something I wanted and something in which I believed .

And yet I still ask myself, am I one of those students my professors have an obligation to weed out of the profession?  I am so earnest in my desire to learn and to help and to love the human condition that it hurts badly to think perhaps I am just not cut out for this.  Yet this fear is countered by a strong belief that despite my fear, I can do this and I will do this.  I am having trouble shaking this spasm of panic though.

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