Would you catch me if I fall?

It’s Spring Break, I’ve taken the week off from work, and I am going to visit my Mom this coming week.  When I let my therapist know that I was going out of town she said if I wanted to she could see me early in the week before I left just to check-in and talk about coping skills.  Since I am planning on leaving on Monday though I won’t have time for an appointment.  When she suggested getting together before I left, I didn’t think a lot of it.  Of course, I didn’t like thinking of missing a week but it wasn’t too big of a deal.  Just this morning though when Mom and I clarified our plans and it was clear I wouldn’t have time for an appointment I was disappointed and saddened.  I will miss the support.  I will miss the interaction with a person I really value.  I will have to wait until I get back.

I kind of feel like how I imagine someone just learning to walk would feel.  Can I really do this?  I’m scared.  What if I fall?  What if I get hurt?  It’s lonely out there.  Tell me I can do this, tell me I’m okay.

But it is just Mom, right?  It is seeing my cat.  It is seeing my sister.  It is going shopping and being on vacation.  What is there to be afraid of?

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