“Sickness is a defense against the truth.”

These questions are questions I found on http://www.expressiveartworkshop.com

Good questions to ask yourself when you are sick:

1.) If I could name two hidden parts of myself that are in conflict right now, what would they be? What are their names?

Healing and productivity/ usefulness

2.) What does each side of the conflict want?

 The healing part of me wants this time to myself to do what I want and what I need to do.  It wants me to rest.  The productive/ useful side of me feels I have to, I need to, justify my existence.  I do not feel entitled to take this time for myself.

3.) How do I need to grow in order to resolve this conflict?

I need to learn to value my time off and give myself permission to heal, spiritually and/or physically.

4.) How am I needing to be loved right now?

 I always need reassurance from friends and family and to get “permission” to do things for myself/ put myself first.  “No” was not an okay word to say to family when I was growing up.  It was unacceptable.  I want to know unequivocally that I am loved and valued and worthy, that I don’t have to earn that love, that I don’t have to justify my existence, my worthiness. 

5.) How can I ask for that love or give it to myself?

I want a hug, a real hug.  I want a hug from someone I admire and value and I want to feel valued by that person and trust in that.  I don’t want to always second guess my relationships and the qualities of those relationships.  I want to know I am loved and I am special to that person(s).

 Give that love to myself?  That is hard for me to determine.  It cannot be something as superficial as aquiring an item I want or allowing myself to eat a food I want.  Even engaging in an activity I enjoy is not completely satisfying either.  It is difficult when much of my validation comes from external sources.  I like creating something I can take pride in, perhaps that is the way to give love to myself?

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